After a wonderful and stressful 20 years of Military service, I decided to do the hard work I had been avoiding. I was done with being unhappy and went to cognitive behavioral therapy for over a year, quit drinking. My “Idle” was set DANGEROUSLY high. And anyone who has ever had a poorly maintained car whose idle is WAY too high, knows that when you slam that shifter into “Drive” there is going to be some sudden, aggressive and damaging results. That was my hyper vigilance and high anxiety. And I projected it out onto the world for decades.
Quick background for context: My mother is Native Thai and married to my Father, an American GI, back in the 70’s. My mother converted from Buddhism to southern Baptist and I was raised and attended church until I was age 16, then I joined the Military with my parent’s consent at age 17. After 20 years of World Travel in the Military, I claim no religious or political leanings. I am pragmatic and reserve the right to change my mind at any moment given new facts.
My experience is my own and it was as close to a spiritual experience as anything I’ve ever had. I have had my first round of five treatments within 10 days. The first treatment was the most discomfort I felt due to a natural reaction to the ketamine that simulated motion sickness. The staff QUICKLY noticed that I was stressed out during the first treatment and quickly, calmly, with the utmost care, guided me through the stress and the session concluded wonderfully AND the amazing nurses added an anti sickness med before all my next sessions so each one after was great. This is an intensively INTROSPECTIVE experience on a scale that words seem like cave man grunts to an advanced being trying to describe it.
Please do the hard work of cognitive behavior therapy FIRST to identify and then CHOOSE to work on issues that are toxic and have you in a toxic cycle that is causing you long term harm for shorter and shorter short term gains. This is an intensive and RAW look at your deepest “id”, those “dark” and “hidden” places long locked away and maybe even forgotten. When you are “down there”, when you are the most simplest form of “you” there is….all the B.S. of this existence is stripped away…. All you are left with is what you bring with you “down there”.
!WARNING! ! CAUTION! ! NOTE! Please, please, please, do not lie (to yourself and to your therapist) and think this will be the “silver bullet” that this will “fix me” or “make me happy”. What you choose to do when confronted with Whatever it is, that has you “off balance”,… Your EGO, the EGO that you have finely crafted over years of social strata from the D.N.A. of the most cunning of apex predator To dominate Earth. THAT. EGO that you have?… WILL BE DISINTEGRATED. Fear not.
The nursing staff is a caring and professional “guide” on your sessions. If you decide to take a deep look into yourself then I cannot think of a better traveling companion than the staff that will sit with you who are licensed professional healthcare workers that are monitoring your body’s IV line, heart rate, blood pressure as well as other neat high tech equipment that ensure measurable metric of progression. I felt safe and at first felt nervous about speaking in strange tongues around a stranger, yet the dissociative nature of ketamine and the professionalism of the ENTIRE staff provided me a feeling of overall wellness and safety.
I’m going back for my next session after that is the first follow up after my initial week. I’m super excited of the possibilities. I feel as though I am able to “study with a pre-test” of what’s to come for ALL OF US.